I NEED NEW FRIENDS

OK since I graduated High School almost four years ago now, then moved to Florida and went to college. I lived there for about 2 years and then came back to Maryland to reunite with the love of my life, got engaged, bought a house and started really living. I will have my master's in Journalism next year and I'm not even 21 yet. You could say I'm living the good life. Well life isn't good with out good close friends.

Don't get me wrong I still have my old friends that I have known since we were knee high and basically growing boobs, and getting our periods together. But I have found that they aren't the same people I once knew back then. Back in the day shit was cool. We didn't have a care in the world, from playing on the playground to going to prom and getting wasted afterwards. I miss that. After I moved after graduation it was hard to keep up with old friends until I discovered Myspace. I found basically all my old friends from school and kept up with them that way which was kinda good that I didn't have to hear there nauseating gossip everyday.

Once I moved back to Maryland you would think that we would all get together like we use to since we are now living in the same state again. Nope. The last time I hung with all my old friends at the same time was last year around November or maybe October. We went to some club that my friend said was hot but turned out to be some island/African ho down in a dark ass 1/2 club/Hall( true dance hall up in that bitch). Playing nothing but Dance hall and the music you usually hear at the D.C Carnival. It was Wack with a capital W! A waste of $10 bucks I could bought me a dime bag for that and would been happy and high as hell in my own home.

After a few times seeing my "old" friends I realized that we have nothing in common anymore. We are all going in different directions. And it's sad the one friend that I have the most in common with lives in NY**sighs**.

My Friends:
* Single for the most part or have a male friend they insist on calling their BF
* Like to party during the weekdays and weekends

* Smoke and drinks
* Goes walking around the mall for fun with no intention to buy shit but to show off and meet dudes.PASS..
* Still lives with their parents
* Always getting their nails and hair done every other week

Me:
*Engaged
*Likes to party at home with her husband
*Quit Smoking but still drinks
*Goes to the mall when I absolutely need something
*I have my own house
*I do my own nails and hair
* Works out at home
* Shops in Home Depot and Lowe's

* Own an animal( which 1/2 my friends are scared of dogs pussies)

See nothing in common which means I need a new group of friends..I need some friends that are married with little ones or at least in a committed and serious to the point of engagement relationship.

Baby Mama's

Baby Mama: A female that has a man's child unwed and most likely only known the guy for less than 3 months. What happened to condoms and birth control pills?

I was at a party with my fiance a few months ago. I went to the bathroom to relieve myself and started washing my hand when this older black woman came up next to me who also happened to be at the same gathering as us. She asked if that was my boyfriend. I told her that we were happily engaged actually. I usually don't take up conversations in bathrooms but I like to respect my elders so I continued to engage in the conversation. The next thing that came out her mouth made me want to hit the old bag in her face. She asked so coyly " So your pregnant congrats".Mind you I am not fat so its not like she looked at my stomach and just assumed.

Its annoying when an older black woman automatically thinks your pregnant if you tell them your engaged. WTF!!! So I gotta be pregnant to be getting married? Which makes no sense to me since we have all these “baby mama’s” walking around unwed. Damn shame really. All these children out of wed-lock. I'm not saying that its wrong to have children while your not married but at least think about it. I'm tired of seeing these damn HOES and yes HOES on Maury and shows like his with women looking for their baby daddies and have 5 dudes up there for one kid. Like why in the french toast did they make condoms for??!

Condoms can be used for 5 different things:
A. A colorful or white balloon to decorate your room.bwhahaha!!
B.To Prevent UNWANTED Children
C. To Prevent UNWANTED Children
D. To Prevent Getting a BABY MAMA!
E. To Prevent Getting a Baby Daddy!

Why cant these Women and Men on Maury understand something so simple a Caveman could do it :-)

You know what's hilarious about the shows that come on with these topic on it? When the results of the DNA test comes in and all 5 dudes ain't the damn daddy. And she looks surprised because she swears up and down that she's not a hoe and then proceeds to run off stage to the backstage couch and bawl her eyes out while the man is on stage either by himself or with his "new girlfriend who happens to be pregnant " walking it out" like no body's business. This is when the unbareable laughter takes over for me, when Maury goes backstage and tries to comfort the girl, patting her on the back telling her it will be ok and that they will find the father. What Maury is really saying:
" It's gonna be ok we will find the father but in the meantime come to my dressing room after the show and break me off a little something something". Or this could just be my opinion that Maury is a fucking PIMP incognito.

All I'm saying is this, If you want children that fine but atleast plan it. If you don't want a child at the time then stap up mother fucker because if you don't these are the possibilities:

1. Baby Mama or should I say "mother of my child" I hate when dudes try to sugar code shit and say baby mama the nice way.

2. Drama, this can go both ways either from the mother or the daddy

3. Child Support out the butt, My fiance pay 700 bucks a month in child support for one child and its that high because we live in MD and she lives in DC aint that a bitch.

Final words: Don't be wack buy some condoms or get on the pill

Insecure Girlfriends

Ok I know every woman has a insecure, low self-esteem friend. These are the females that always have something bad to say about everything even herself. The ones that go to the clubs with you looking for a man to pick her up and take her home. The ones that always says she's ugly or has small boobs and your prettier than her.

THOSE BITCHES ARE ANNOYING!!

I have a friend that is exactly like that and she pisses me off almost every time we hang out too. I have known this girl since we were in 6th grade and she hasn't changed one bit. She complains about everything and everyone(especially men).

Scenario: About five years ago she met her ex boyfriend Adam(white boy I called him)he was a pretty cool dude. Seemed to love her alot and took her out all the time. About a year in to the relationship he started to change she started to notice things about him that she had not seen before( which included the intake of numerous drugs).Which by the way by this time they moved in together in this fly ass apartment in Silver Spring right across the street from the City Place mall and Metro. Back in the good ol days of our senior yr of high school which she dropped out of after she turned 18. I will admit we smoke a lot of trees" that year. Any who this is when her life pretty much went down hill. I was over her house for spring break and we were all in the bathroom getting blazed. Adam turned to me right in front of her and asked me if he could kiss me. I looked at her and laughed and said " Umm you better get your man". He continued and said this has nothing to do with her I'm asking you because I like you I also asked if I could fuck you on valentines day. I leave the room pissed the fuck off wanting to slap the shit out of him for even suggesting I sleep with him in the first place. She runs after me and proceeded to beg me to sleep with her boyfriend like the dumb cum-filled twat she is.

To make a really long story short. I said FUCK NO and went to bed and then woke up in the middle of the night hearing them fighting over me! I never witnessed anything so fucked up in my life.

The next day I told her she need to break up with him ASAP! But being chick she is( the I can't leave him because I love him no matter what type) stays with him another four long excruciating years of abuse, and then wants to complain about it every other day when she knew good and damn well she should have left his ass the first time he asked to have sex with her bestfriend(me at the time). And yes I said first time he asked because he has asked about 5-6 times after that situation. She would call me crying saying that he wanted to leave her for me! I would laugh my ass off asking why he would want to do that, I don't even like him.

She got in her mind that to this day he's still deeply in love with me. After those crazy years she finally bucked up and broke it off. I never got why she stayed with him in the 1st place. It was sickening to see them to together. At one point when he slapped her in front of me I took a knife from the kitchen and was about to break some skin. I haven't seen him since that day. She is a sad sight now. Her self-esteem lower than ever now has this don't give a shit attitude and just hoe's around. Its horrible because I stopped hang out with her because of that and she never understood that. Why I stopped chilling with her ass:

A. She had low self-esteem out the ass. Everyday she would call herself ugly and cover herself up in baggy clothes and wear no make-up or if she wore make up she would wear so much she looked like a damn hooker/woman of the night. It got so bad that I just gave up telling her that she wasn't ugly. I badly wanted to just say " Bitch yes your fucking ugly, ugly ass slut that fucks anyone who has a dick and balls. But that would be mean right? No what mean is when he fucked all her friends behind her back.

B. She's a fucking slut for no reason. She will go to the club and try and pick up dudes vice versa and get drunk and then either go home with them or take them to her house to have a long night of dick and pussy.

C. She is so negative. I tell her that I was engaged which is relatively happy news. Not for her, she would shit on any good new anyone had to say if it wasn't about her hence the word attention whore. She had the nerve to tell me " I don't like him he's gonna cheat on you anyways". I wanted to slap the shit out of her for a) she never even met my fiancee b) she's a fucking hater and c) I don't date the type of dudes that she dates, just because your ugly ass(attitude wise) has been cheated on doesn't mean it will happen to me too.

I hate females that say that shit. Like if they were cheated on my their ex out of jealous of seeing a good relationship they out of spite say your man will do the same. To those females that think they know every goddamn thing BURN IN HELL!!!

Dogs

Ok see Im a dog person. I love dogs their man..dammit woman's bestfriend. But I swear to god sometimes I want to kill them!! for these reasons...

Reasons I hate dogs:

1. They can't talk so meaning they wont tell you if they have to shit or piss.(well my dog sits at the door)
2. Puppies chew to goddamn much on shit like, the couch pillows, hands, feet, stuff out the trash ect..
3. Dont know the difference between their chew toys and your new fucking shoes.
4. They smell like white ppl ahahah I'm kidding.
5. Why the fuck do dogs like to sniff the same fuckin spot when we go outside like does that shit smell different!
6. I fuckin hate it when they come up on the bed and wanna sit there and lick their mother fucking ass for 10 minutes making slobber spots on the bed making it look like someone cummed on the damn bed. I seriously doubt that I would want to lick ma own ass or even smell someone else butt.Gag

Sexuality

You know what pisses me the fuck off? When a man or woman, mostly a man think he knows every goddamn thing about a person.

One day I was bored as hell and was on myspace. I know, I know, I knowwww. I could have just read a book if I was bored or watched a movie but anyways. I was in myspace chat one day talking to one of the regualrs that is always in there that i would consider " a internet pest". Well the convorsation came up about male and female strip clubs.
And I was reading all the different peoples two cents about the subject. One chick said that she loves going to see male strippers and such and of course the men in there love the tits and ass. Well this is were the conversation turned in to "Sexuality Confusion". I made a comment stating this:

" Personally I would rather go to see tits and ass than have some strange, oiled up, possibly gay male shake is dick in my face, I love me some men but I'll pass, I rather have a pair of fun bags in my face than some sweaty ass penis that aint my man's grinding in my lap or slapping me on my forehead".



Man did I sturr up some shit.

The "pest" of course jumped on my comment first. Saying that I must be "bi-sexual". He claims that so many love seeing dick swing in their face and pay big bucks everytime they go.

Man did he sturr up some shit as well.

The women of the chat poured down on his ass for making such a comment.

I simply replied to him: Bi-sexual? Do you even know what that means? A)Bi-sexuality is when a person likes both sexes. B)One who dates men and women and or sleeps with both sexes, which I do not. And when did I say that I was sexually attracted or attrached in genral to women? I would understand if I said "Ohh I like seeing stripper pussy".

Then I went on and put that assfucker in his place as did the other women of the chatroom. Moral of the story.. Fuck Myspace chatrooms nothing but a waste of time and bullshit niggas trying to meet you in person or wanna talk shit about you, your looks and other shit, when all in all they aint shit.LOL


What ya'll think?

Meeting, Dating, Engagment to Marrige..

I have learned that when you make a commitment to someone doesn't automatically mean they will do the same for you. Love takes time and patience. Love is not a walk in the park. It will always seem that way in the beginning.

You meet a person they seem so cool, sweet, funny and have a good head on their shoulders, you start to date and things are still good, you eventually move in together and shit starts to flip and you start to see how they are when you are around them 24/7. You start getting annoyed with one another and re-think why you even started dating let alone moved in together. But you keep trying to work it out. Some days are better than others. Some days you are smiling and laughing others your crying and yelling and then making up. That's life though. When you truly love some "in love" with them you will argue and stuff but you always find in your heart that you still love them and no dumbass argument will break you up. You move on with life and have new conversations and jokes and one more thing to love about them.This is just the 1st three steps. So what.. we covered Meeting,Dating, Living together.. now to Engagement.

There is no written rule that a man has to propose to a woman except maybe in the movies and when your parents were growing up. Me personally it doesn't matter who proposes..All that matters is that you truly show that you love the person to make that big step in your life..it shows courage and hopefulness. I proposed to my fiance, even though his friends are like "now you def gotta propose to her though" so like I was saying in the movies they make it seem so perfect how men propose to women and blah blah blah its bullshit...see that's the one thing that got women confused..the men in movies ain't real men..they are characters in a story that women wish men acted. Lets get real ladies... you really think a man is going to stand in the rain in the middle of the damn street screaming your name on the top of his lungs at your window saying baby I LOVE YOU WILL U MARRY ME!!!! holding a boombox over his head playing your favorite love song? hell naw.

Personally I would love to be proposed to like this.
A nice quite dinner at home like some carry out lol and drinking some beers and we are chillin' on the couch and he turns to me and would say, hey babe so why don't we stop fooling ourselves and get married..i would be like huh so he would have to repeat himself he would be like baby be my wife not my wifey that's just corny and pops out the ring and puts it on my naked ring less ringer finger LOL...I would cry and say yes..and I would be sporting my rock everywhere lol. But yea I would want it to go something like that.. just chill nothing crazy. Back to the subject anywho back to the subject.

Next comes the big engagement notice and you tell your parents and family and friends and everyone is happy and you are so in love and cant wait to get married! But then here's the other scenario you are so excited and happy and telling your friends and blah blah blah but then it hits you... you aren't sure you are ready to get married because I mean shit marriage is the biggest step of them all! So you freak out and second guess yourself asking yourself if this is the man or woman I wanna be with for the rest of the years of your life? You ask yourself, Do I really want to see this women who walks around the house everynight with facial cleanser on her face and rollers in her hair and a furry robe on? Is he the man I want to see scratch his balls every sinlge morning which grosses me out for the rest of my life! am I to young for marriage? am I missing out on my life by getting married or tied down to one person? What if we just end up getting a divorce? So many things go through your head and now you’re just confused.So you decide to wait a few years before planning the wedding. You think this will help you guys gather your thoughts when all in all you should have thought about it before you even agreed to marriage.

That's why I think there are some many divorces in the US. People rush in to things that they aren't sure of. Men marry women because they think they are in love or because they are carrying their child. I don't want no dude marrying me because I'm carrying his kid I want him to marry me because he loves me..and I most def ain't having no kids with a dude that I'm not married to!! Not gonna happen. I'm not gonna be any ones baby mama.. I don't want that title and guys will say, well how bout mother of my children. That's fine and dandy if I'm your wife but if I'm not that's just a nice way of saying baby mama..Am I right? Now to marriage.



Marriage marriage marriage..They say marriage is about unconditional love, and starting your own family, getting that house and popping out a few kids and living happily ever after and yada yada yea right..Marriage is a full-time job, the biggest commitment anyone on this earth can make to one person. Its about working together as whole, lots and lots of communication, compromise, and most of all Patience. I learned that from seeing my parents. They have been married for almost 10 years now. My mother re-married when I was eleven. She told me if I do get married make sure its true and that you both are in it for the long run because I am only paying for one wedding!

Men and Sex

Men crack me up when it comes to sex. When we were all young in 1st to maybe 4th grade, girls and boys had cooties and we would say Eww when one another touched. What the hell is a cootie? Like a fake STD for kids? When we were young we had the dumbest ideas like an invisible shot for the cooties. Then we hit middle school, oh what a time to find out about the opposite sex by playing truth or dare in the back of the bus really giving each other cooties. Then in high school we have that boyfriend or girlfriend that we think is our one and true love and then one day we find out he broke up with you with out telling you and now he dates your best friend. Then you get to college and know you found the person you want to spend your life with and you two finally move in together. This is when it gets funny. Once you start living with a man you find out so much about that person. Like if he puts the toilet seat down or cleans out his fridge of spoiled milk and rotting carrots or wears dirty socks out of the hamper.

But what kills me about men is once they think you live with them they will automatically get some pussy. They think that if we sleep in the same bed every night we are automatically suppose to jump on the pogo stick and ride. I swear sometimes men are full of themselves when it comes to sex. Like they think that if we put our hand on their dick and get them hard we want sex. Like c’mon why I can’t put my hand on my man’s dick with out wanting to have sex. And what kills me is when they think that if they rub your clit you will automatically get horny. Guys let me give you the inside scoop, stop watching so much porn because the women in the movie may get horny off the men playing with her clit but NEWS FLASH!!!!!! They are getting paid to be horny! And question if she is gripping your dick and hasn’t taken her clothes off yet what makes you think she’s horny? Sometimes women just want to please their man and not get pleasured themselves. It does happen believe it or not. Ever thought about that? But if you can’t live without the pussy and need the pussy when she "plays" with your dick then you need to start on you job.

Women like to be romanced in to sex/ love making. They aren’t the common ho that just hopes on and screws the shit of you. You have to caress her body, kiss her slowly, and massage her back and neck with oils. Make her feel loved and wanted, not just for sex but in general. Think about it….